We’ve all been there, and chances are, we’ll be there again. Regardless of the circumstances, this article will walk you through how the wellbeing experts at Get MotiVETed handle life’s most challenging situations, trading off ineffective coping mechanisms.
Open up
To your sig other, a trusted confidant, a coach, or counselor. I recommend the latter for more serious situations. Shutting down generally does not bode well for healing or effectively processing such emotions or events. Having 5-7 people in your life is imperative so as to not carry the burden alone, or expect only 1 person (often a best friend or significant other) to carry everything. Having a handful of close people can provide you with instant and continued levels of support. The majority of people have 1 person. So I encourage you to GROW (grow meaning getting uncomfortable at times) and cultivate relationships that will support you.
Pour on acceptance and forgiveness!
What do I mean by that? There’s something about the human ego that sparks guilt when tragedy strikes. People immediately begin to punish themselves. Entangling themselves in a storm of negative self-talk. “I should have done this, what if I…” Nip that in the bud. by using the STOP mindfulness technique as the tool to keep the negative self-talk and the shame spiral at bay.
Let go
Of resistance, Resistance equals suffering. This is different from the initial pain felt. Resistance in these situations shows up as pushing against what the circumstances are, trying to control the outcomes or the process. Resisting how you are coping, or the way your life is impacted creates tension. Flow with the events.
“Pain is unavoidable, suffering is a choice.”
Victor Frankel writes about the power of the mind and willpower in Man’s Search for Meaning. Sharing his experience as a holocaust survivor. So, if he can conjure the capacity to change his experience in such conditions, I assure you, that you are capable of shifting your mindset, to support yourself, bringing into alignment your actions and raising your sense of wellbeing.
Exercise Non-attachment.
Simply put- don’t be attached to the outcome, recognize and release your expectations. Do what you can, with what you have, and then sink into faith and gratitude (even in tragedy we can find kernels to be grateful. Allowing yourself to feel the sense of immediate relief once you are no longer attached to a certain outcome based on your expectations or your tendency to control.
Surrender, and then surrender some more.
Meditate, pray, or journal
Center yourself and solidifying your intentions, releasing the default and way too familiar states that cause suffering. Believe it or not, even though you may think that you don’t want to be depressed, you are wired to default to states that are familiar. So you have to really work with yourself in rerouting these pathways that lead to the same old places.
“You have a choice of how you shape your experiences.
Choose wisely
Ask yourself these key questions, ponder the answers that come up, and write out your responses. LIst out practical steps that may need to happen, sure, but more importantly focus on how you FEEL.
- “How will my best self handle this?”
- “How do I want to show up in this moment?”
- “When I think back in this time, one year from now, how do I want the story to unfold?”
These are some of the many tools that are available to you, at any time to increase your quality of life, even when you are facing tough times.
